Birth Stories /// J U N I E

9:44 PM

I hope you're ready for this "made for tv" birth story. It's a quick one, as was my labor.

I'm pretty sure I willed Junie to come out early. Not intentionally. Of course I wanted her to cook as long as possible, but I just had a feeling about the date 7/7/14. I mean, how cool is that? I would always talk about how that would be such a great birthday to have. On top of the coolness my husband loves the number 7. He was born on 7/17/77. It's always been his favorite number. 7 is kind of his thing.

Imagine my surprise when around 2:30 am on 7/7 (about 3 weeks before my due date) I woke up to lower back pain. My husband had fallen asleep on the couch so I went out and told him that my back was really hurting, it was coming in waves, was consistently happening every few minutes, and I was pretty sure it was the start of labor. I must have sounded calm because he didn't think much of it and he went back to sleep! I called the hospital, and again, they didn't seem too concerned.

Wellp....I'm up now, I might as well pack a small hospital bag.

"Babe, wake up. Do you want to pack some things for the hospital bag?"
"(half sleeping) I'll do it tomorrow Joanna"

Fast forward, ohhhh, I don't know, HALF AN HOUR.....

Calling hospital again...from toilet. I feel like this baby is going to fall into the toilet. Why does this nurse still not seem that concerned? Why is my husband still asleep on the couch? Have none of these people ever heard of a little thing called LABOR??

I can no longer take this pain. We have to go to the hospital.

Now, I must preface this next part with this. I am not a yeller, a curser, a screamer. I don't raise my voice to my husband, or to, well, anyone often. He has hardly ever heard me yell in our 12 years together.

"DAVID, WAKE THE FUCK UP WE HAVE TO FUCKING GO RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!"
"Ok, Im up Im up! (scrambling around) Jo, where are the keys? I cant find the keys."
"I DONT KNOW WHERE THE FUCKING KEYS ARE. FIND YOUR FUCKING KEYS WE HAVE TO GO NOW!"
"Jo, should I pack a few things, I mean, I might need..."
"SHOULD YOU PACK A FEW THINGS?? MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT WHEN I DID IT WE ARE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!"
(frantic, nervous, terrified husband is now looking at me like I am someone he has never met in his life)

We get in the car and I realize there is no way we are making it to our hospital over a half hour away. We have to go to Kaisers other hospital that is closer. 15 minutes away or so.

My husband is notoriously known for being, well, a very "wild driver". He does not drive the speed limit, he is always on his phone...basically a rebel behind the wheel and for once I'm happy about that...or so I thought. WTF? He is driving 70 on the freeway and making appropriate signal notifications for all lane changes.

"DAVID, ARE YOU FUCKING GOING THE FUCKING SPEED LIMIT RIGHT NOW??? DRIVE FASTER. GO AT LEAST 90 MILES PER HOUR AT ALL TIMES. GOOOOO"

This is about the time I realize that we are not going to make it to either hospital. We have to get to a closer hospital. I am going to have this baby right now.

As we exit the freeway my rebel without a cause, hell on wheels husband obediently waits at the red light...at 4am...with NO other cars within a 10 mile radius...while I'm about to deliver a baby on our leather seat.
"FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

We make it to the Emergency Room Entrance and I fly out of the car while he parks. I run/waddle in and scream for help. A nurse literally swoops me up into a wheel chair and starts running as fast as she can to Labor and Delivery.

I tell her I need to push.
She begs me to wait one more minute.

As my husband parks and comes flying in after me he said all he could see, always about a hundred yards ahead of him as he chased us through the halls was my blond hair being whisked around each corner.

We barrel into a delivery room and I'm begging for the epidural. My husband enters just as the nurses say....

"You're 10cm dilated. We can't do an epidural. You have to push."

WHAT? I have to feel this? I have to push this baby out and feel it? I cant. After I had used every ounce of energy left in me, resorted to every moan and groan and animalistic sound I could make, practically broke my husbands hand, kicked my doctor in the head, got restrained by nurses (due to the kick) I had had it.

I cant do this. This is not part of my plan. I have nothing left. I cant.

I have to.

I can.

I did.

Junie Rose entered the world less than 3 hours after I woke to slight back pain. And you know the best part? She was born on 7/7 at 5:17am in hospital room 7. She weighed in at 5lbs. 7oz. and was 17 inches long.

So yeah....7's are kind of our thing...




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4 comments

  1. Love you beauties and this story. 💛

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  2. This sounds so much like my little guy's birth! Except ours included arriving at the wrong hospital ('that doesn't deliver') and having to be taken by ambulance to the right one. Nothing like going through transition in transit! Also, I think "No time for an epidural" are the most unholy words ever spoken to me. 😂

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