Growing Wild

2:12 PM

So, it's Spring. All Im seeing on Social Media is photo after photo of gorgeous wildflowers, blooming trees, backyards transformed overnight into colorful wonderlands...

...But not in my back yard. Do you want to know what is growing wild in my yard right now? Like, real wild, everywhere, all over, wild?

A friendly little fungus called...

FUCKING PHALLIC MUSHROOMS!

Yes, you read that right. The whole worlds got poppy's and cherry blossoms and I've got dick mushrooms!! And what does this Phallic Mushroom smell of you ask?

FUCKING SEMEN!

Check out this google search defining my phallic friend:

Phallus (fungus)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The genus Phallus, commonly known as stinkhorns produce a phallic, often foul-scented smell, from which their name is derived. The fruiting structure is tall and white with a slimy, dark olive colored conical head known as the gleba and is recognizable for its foul odor and its phallic shape when mature.  

...You know....you really haven't lived until you are innocently enjoying a glass of wine at sun down and all of a sudden the overwhelming aroma of semen takes over your entire yard. Nothing kills your buzz like a big nose full of ejaculated sperm.

Well...happy Spring everyone. I cant wait to see what Summer brings. Please enjoy the photos I've provided, but if you really want the true experience you'll have to stop by....unannounced is fine. I'll get some wine on ice while I wait for your arrival.






You Might Also Like

0 comments

Popular Posts

Like us on Facebook

Flickr Images