Monday Madness

2:30 PM

Ok! Guys! We've decided to start dedicating Mondays to just pure madness on the blog...what does that mean? Ill tell ya...these Monday Madness posts will have absolutely zero to do with anything. We're just gunna tell you some funny stories from the weekend. There may be a mention of a toddler or two, but we arent making any promises. And wine. There will definitely be talk about wine, because what are weekends for?

Ok, so, I have a story for you. It's about me (Krystin), and my husband. Dont worry, it's G rated...if you call an all out bitch moment G rated. Maybe we should call it B rated. HA HA..made myself laugh. Get it? B rated? for Bitch? Ok...sorry...

Anyway, Friday night me and the fam went out for pizza at the most crazy ass restaurant ever. It was like...effing kids everywhere. I mean, kids for sure out numbered adults. And a lot of the adults, myself included, were completely ignoring their kids and diving heavily into adult beverages. It was scary. Smith could have easily been taken home by someone else. But I am confident that he would have been returned before they even left the parking lot, so I wasn't too worried. the end of the night we realized Smith had lost a small little motorcycle thingy ma jiggy. And guess who was throwing a huge fucking fit about it? Yep, you guessed it...MY HUSBAND! (I know, like, WTF?) I dont know why, but this thing seriously meant the world to him...(yes, we're still talking about my husband here) and he had everyone crawling around the disgusting floor looking for this thing. Can you say BUZZZZZZ kill? Ok. So we didn't find it. And he pretty much cried about it the whole way home. (mmm hmm...still..the husband).

So, we get home, and Im all "Ok man, you've got to get over it. Look, Smith doesn't even care. He's over there chewing on a shoe."

And he's all "It's just the principle Krystin. We need to take better care of our things..."

And Im all "Scott...I mean...whoooooo cares? He'll find another forgotten toy on the floor at the library tomorrow and we'll just swipe that."

And then you know what he did? He started getting MEAN! And like...blaming me for the lost motorcycle. And like...accusing me of losing it on purpose...and I was all "ohhhh nut uhhh" so you know what I did? I locked him out of the house...

Yep...he briefly stepped out mid rampage to fiddle with something and that was it. Locked. Out.

He knocked on the door.

"Krystin, let me back in."

The knocks became louder.

"Krystin....please...let me in...I have to....I have to poop."

The knocks became loud bangs

"Krystin...seriously, let me in right now. I really have to go."

....I ignored the cries...

He eventually had to leave and go drive to our friends house and poop there.

I know what you're thinking. What a B! But, seriously...I know. It was a total bitch moment. I warned you. Dont say I didnt warn you.


Do you think he's brought up that motorcycle since?

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