Honest Motherhood Day 2: Two Mombies Walk into a Coffee Shop

2:16 PM

I suppose we should start this series where it actually begins, when Joanna and I first became friends. Before we had Smith and Junie we were acquaintances. We lived in the same neighborhood so we ran into each other at restaurants, boutiques, and the occasional BBQ. Then we had our babies only 5 days apart and simultaneously started spending most of our days at the local coffee shop.

The first day we ran into each other our babies were less than a month old. Joanna asked how it was going? "Great (I lied), how about you?" Joanna responded, "Well, it's going ok, (as Junie whaled from her stroller), we haven't found a pacifier she will take yet." I reached in my bag, rummaged around, and pulled out a pacifier, "Have you tried this one?"..."No, not yet."... "Here! Take it!"..."No no I couldn't just take it."..."Please, just take it. Maybe it will be the one."..."Hm, ok. Are you sure?"

She eventually took it, thanked me, and continued her walk.

The pacifier never worked for Junie, but from that day forward we never lied to each other about how our days were going. We never sugar coated our feelings about being new moms. From that day forward running into each other was no longer by chance, but by choice. From that day forward we sat. We shared. We cried. We laughed. We discussed our fears both big and small. Because on that day, at that coffee shop, we found our tribe.

I often times think back to that day, about how it could have gone so differently. Joanna could have chosen to pretend she didnt see me, walk by quickly to avoid an interaction over a screaming newborn. Or she could have chosen to lie, the way I did, tell me everything was fine. But instead she let herself be vulnerable and open. And me? I could have chosen to judge her or "feel sorry" for her, while I was having a seemingly "perfect day". But instead I acknowledged that the screaming baby could be mine, and the stressed mom could be me so I chose to be a friend to someone I barely knew.

My message is this: The difficulty of being a new mom is indescribable. And having someone, another mother, to go through it with is an incredible gift. Dont be afraid to be exposed to or accepting of these women that come into your life...they very well may be the one who will change it.


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