Honest Motherhood Day 8: Hashtag Instagram

9:45 PM

Holy SHIT! Day 8. I made it into week 2 and I have to say I didn't know if I was going to make it this far. But here we are to talk some real talk about Instagram. Ah, Instagram, how I hate to love you. Or love to hate you? One of those things...

I dont know about you, but in my household there is a continual argument about the ole Gram. My husband and I have both made remarks about how the other is too zoned out on it, or has missed something happening in our real, actual life from being too busy staring at other peoples life in pictures on Instagram. Stupid Instagram. Our remarks on the subject are usually brushed off, or taken seriously in the moment, but then forgotten the next day. Sometimes we even try to make honest changes in our "screen time". We vow to put our phones down after a certain time, or leave them home when we go out to dinner. It always seems to work for a bit, but like I said, it's quickly forgotten and back to the scroll we go.

But recently we were having a really deep talk about things we MUST change in our marriage if we want it to thrive, and once again, Instagram came up. My husband explained his feelings about my blogging, and the exposure level of Smith on a public forum. He expressed his concern for how much time I spend "perfectly editing photos", and "waiting for likes".  All of a sudden I BURST into tears...like...uncontrollable, inconsolable, ugly cry tears. Yes, I was sobbing hysterically over Instagram...

But before you judge me hear me out...

Once I composed myself I explained my irrational cry fest to him in the most honest way I knew how. For me, Instagram is not a mindless escape. I am a mother. And as rewarding as my role as a mother is, it is also sometimes the loneliest place in the world. I use Instagram in the most pure way you can...to connect with a community. A community of mothers, and women, and friends who take away the lonely feeling and replace it with an overflowing feeling of gratitude and understanding. Through Instagram I have turned people who I only knew through little squares on an iphone into real life friends who I get coffee with, meet for play dates, and laugh at real life shit with! And there's a little voice inside me telling me that THIS is the truest form of using social media. And that is something I wont be sorry for.

So, here it goes...Im about to say the dorkiest thing I've ever said in my life....

YOU! Yea YOU...are my best friends! You are my tribe, my village, my community. And you're all totally invited to my birthday party!


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